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Thursday, January 5, 2012

Not every day is sunshine and roses.

Today was one of those rougher days. Sometimes, this high risk, three time a week ultrasound mess starts to get intense. The waiting in the waiting room gets longer. The sonograms are variable. The waiting for the doctor gets painful. Sometimes, it's overwhelming. Today was one of those days.

I went in for my sonogram and found out that M, my favorite sonographer, was going to do the ultrasound. She's awesome. She started the sonogram, and then we found out that the baby was STILL in the frank breech position. That explained a lot, especially as I'm been having a lot of difficulty feeling movement. However, the sonogram showed that baby was moving around a lot, so that was good. She did a BPP and the baby scored an 8 out of 8. It was crazy though, because for the first time, when she was watching the baby practice breathing, there was a shadow of ribs over the lungs. I've never seen that before. I believe this is around the time when the bones begin to harden, so that's exciting.

When M began to measure the varix though, it measured 1.57. I really worked hard to not panic. She explained to me that the baby was oblique, and she normally wants a cross cut measurement. Also, because of the position, the leg was casting a small shadow. That's not to say that she didn't work around it and do her best to get the correct measurement, because she did. But, she did explain that with the position, it's going to vary in measurement. So, that made me feel a little better. When she finished the sonogram, she said that Dr. M would be in soon.

Dr. M??? I haven't seen that doctor in 2 months!!!!!

So I waited.

And waited.

M, the sono, came back in and said that Dr.M was looking over my files and would be in soon.

So I waited again.

Finally, Dr M came in. They are really nice, and they have an excellent way of talking to you. Good bedside manner. Except for the fact that she rehashed the entire possible plan over again. The. Entire. Thing. She began to tell me that around this time or 32 weeks, they might consider admitting me again as an in-patient. I wanted to know why, and if there was something to be concerned about. She said that there wasn't anything to be concerned about at the moment, and that everything was still stable with good blood flow and baby growth. So why an in-patient? She wanted me to keep it in the back of my mind. OH...trust me...it's been there.

So basically, she was saying everything was okay at the moment, but that I needed to consider all of those things that the other three doctors already asked me to consider, and then said I might not need to consider. It was like throwing another cook into the kitchen who throws off the groove.

I'm not sure as to why it all bothered me so much...but it did. I left crying. Maybe it's because I don't want to be admitted again unless it's to have my baby...9 weeks from now. I called Scott, and my amazing husband quickly jumped into the "I need to fully understand this" mode. So he called Dr.M to ask for clarification. She explained to him the situation, and basically, everything is okay. She was just trying to get caught up to date on the situation. In the end, we both felt a little better about it, and the hospitalization is NOT imminent. Thank goodness.

A little piece of my sanity felt like it broke away again today. It just makes it scarier and scarier each time I need to go back. In case anyone wanted to know, that's 27 more times.

But I'm 28 weeks today. That's good. For those who like to know, here is the 28 week update:

(this is copied and pasted from a particular site and gender references do not reflect our baby...and we don't know the gender :))

Your Baby
As the Big Day nears, your baby is getting ready to go towards the light at the end of the tunnel (the tunnel being the birth canal, the light being the one the doctor is shining directly into it so she can see what the heck she's doing). Other highlights this week:

Your baby's eyes are partially open now and can blink. Truly superior babies can actually wink. (OK, there is no way to prove that, but it's fun to imagine, no?) Your baby can also now become a shiny, happy person as she has begun having rapid eye movement (Get it? REM? Shiny, happy person?? We'll be here all week.)

Her eyes have color now, too. It may not be the color she ultimately ends up with, especially if they're light gray or blue. The eyes typically don't settle on a final hue until nine months after baby is born. So when your mother-in-law says that the baby has her eyes, you can politely inform her that they'll most likely change soon. Sorry.

Your babe is downright chubby compared to a few weeks ago. She is about 15 inches long, about the length of an amusement park cinnamon-sugar-coated churro (yum!), and weighs 2 to 3 pounds.


Now I'm going to try to continue calming down by practicing the breathing we learned last night at Birth and Baby.

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